"...The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places..."

Hello All!
It's been a while!
I finished my schooling at FIT NYC and am back in WA looking for a job.  I've been able to spend a lot of time with family and friend--I am so blessed!

My Mum's pretty petunias

I am part of a design community for a non-profit, have done (and will do) a little bit of design work (volunteer basis or gifts), and am making prints and surface design pieces on my own to sharpen my design skills and add to my portfolio.  I am also working veeeery part time for my Dad.

It is so great to be back with family and friends! It is sometimes stressful looking for a job (these past few months), having some loans to start paying on soon, and not working full-time, but I am excited for what the Lord has for me and I've been so blessed by my family and friend's encouragement and company as I go through this season in my life.

Biblegateway.com:

Psalm 16 niv

¹ Keep me safe, my God,
    for in you I take refuge.

² I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
    apart from you I have no good thing.”
³ I say of the holy people who are in the land,
    “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”
⁴ Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.
    I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods
    or take up their names on my lips.

⁵ Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;
    you make my lot secure.
⁶ The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
    surely I have a delightful inheritance.
⁷ I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
    even at night my heart instructs me.
⁸ I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
    With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

⁹ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
    my body also will rest secure,
¹⁰ because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
    nor will you let your faithful^[b] one see decay.
¹¹ You make known to me the path of life;
    you will fill me with joy in your presence,
    with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

My nieces and nephews keep me on my toes and I'm lovin it :)  They are adorable and hilarious and being an auntie is THE BEST EVER.  

It's also been really fun having a kitchen again to try out a few of my favorite Korean dishes--I've only made a few successfully, but practice makes perfect...hopefully...oye, idk how much more "different" tasting kimchi I can take ;)

닭갈비--stir-fried chicken, rice cakes, cabbage, onions, gochujang-based sauce.
Eaten with lettuce as a wrap.  And kimchi pancakes--slightly sweetened and salted egg and wheat pancake batter with kimchi and kimchi juice--yum!

Trying hard to fight anxiety, and we shall see where I end up living and working--but for now, I'm enjoying where I am :D  learning to live with thankful heart :)

Winter Happenings, 2013

Well, February has come and gone and we are heading full force into March.  The weather in Manhattan is getting a liiiittle warmer, though, I've heard from New Yorkers that it has been known to snow in March O_o  It's not as windy as it was, so walking from place to place is more pleasant.  If it didn't muss up my hair, I'd wear one of those fuzzy-warm hat/masks with little opening for your eyes.

Walk through NYU and Waffle Truck with Jee Eun

Walking, even if my destination is more than a few blocks away, is pleasant when I am running errands because sometimes I stay on campus for DAYS (living across the street from all the buildings in which my classes are held).  A kind-of "cabin fever" situation occurs.  Exercising, exploring the city, and keeping my sanity are great reasons to walk instead of take the subway.

Believe it or not, there are 11 weeks left of school before I am done with this one-year program.  It's like the first semester was my freshman year and this semester is senior year.  Tons to get done and, for some reason, I have only just started to think of places to go and things to do in the time I have left in city.  I am realizing more and more what privilege it is to live on the East Coast.  It's almost like "a day in the life of a New Yorker," (but, 9 months instead).

I hope to live closer to family after school--I miss them so.  Which means I am, for the most part, looking for jobs in my field in the West Coast area.  Because I am only staying here 1 year, I feel that the job and/or internship I get is a continuation of training, SO, if I don't find something in WA (close to the fam), I don't think it's necessarily a long-term thing.

 But, now, perhaps more than ever, I have peace with wherever I end up--whether it be back in Tacoma, here in NY, the Midwest, SF, Korea or anywhere else in the world.  I've worried a lot about future job(s), living situation, and being without family over the past few months and it's just a waste of time and stresses me out to no end.  I am fighting for peace and joy.  SO, let's just say, A. Idk everything the future holds as much as I try to plan and google jobs and cry about missing family B.  I know the Lord understands my heart, textile design industry, and all things big and small in the world C.  I will keep hoping, trusting, serving, blessing, listening and living life on purpose because no matter what I do and where I end up, God is still a loving God, father, and friend and worthy to be trusted.

View from my internship office

Matthew 6:33

 (NIV)

 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

When I leave schools, cities, and jobs, I tend to over-dramatize "lasts" and "leaving."  And, though I have over 2.5 months left, I have already started to think "this might be the last time I ever _____."  And "I'm going to miss _____."

here's a few:  

I'm going to miss Times Square at night--because it's odd that though it's dark out, it's SO bright all around.  

I'm going to miss the people in my life that were mere acquaintances a few months ago that have become dear friends.

I'm going to miss never having to clean a bathroom (ah, dorm life--it's nothing like real life...).

That's all for now.  Blessings, 

Jess

Early one morning, just as the Sun was rising...

It's a cool morning in Manhattan as I write this LONG overdue update :)

I have been in the States about a week and a half.  It has been fun and refreshing being able to talk and ask questions to anybody with little to no language barrier--in stores, banks, at my school!  For someone who likes to chat with others (any and everywhere), it's just fun to do so without trying to think "what's the word for weather?...oh, 날씨.  So...if I wanted to say 'I wonder if the weather will be nice tomorrow' then I would say..." 

--at the same time, I am still studying Korean and want to be fluent enough to not   have to translate in my head, but just say it^^

School started a day after I arrived in NY.  I am taking 6 classes (26.5 hrs. of class a wk)--assignments so far (and I think for the year) are all projects.  They are challenging, time-consuming, interesting, and a lot of fun (unless I'm tired and/or hungry, then everyone and everything better watch out and have a granola bar and pillow close by)   Some of the classes I'm taking are screen printing, woven design, print design for apparel and home furnishing--so fun.  

I am living in the dorms.  I have NEVER lived in dorms before and coming from living in an apartment by myself, it's an odd concept to, for example, bring all my toiletries to and from the shower ;)  My dorm room feels like a good size.  I have a bed, desk, dresser, wardrobe...what else do I need?  I have a meal  plan, so I don't have to cook, I can work at my desk or there are workrooms/computer labs around campus--I don't need a lot of space--it's not like I'm hosting Sunday brunch or anything...it's perfect for what it is :)  AND I am across the street from the buildings where I have class :)  It's SO convenient!  

It's been a bit weird being back in the States--mostly because it doesn't really feel like I'm in the States yet...

I know I'm not in Korea anymore, but since I'm not "home" in WA...it just feels like I'm idk...somewhere between Korea and the US...

cute little apartments--reminded me of "You've Got Mail"

Missing Korea, students, friends AND missing family, friends, Tacoma--BUT I am REALLY enjoying what I'm studying and I look forward to going to class and learning more :)

On New York:  it IS different and busy and HUGE, but coming from Korea where I could barely speak Korean, it feels really easy just doing everyday thing when I'm out and about.  I've only been here a week and a half, so idk if I like it or like it enough to live here long term--but I like my program enough to continue and for now, that's all I need to know. :)  Okay, a few fun things about being in NY:  I am walking distance away from the NY Public Library, HUGE post office, Penn Station, Times Square, Central Park (a bit of a walk, but still relatively close), Empire State Building, the flower district, Korea Town (they have The Face Shop, Tous Le Jour, and Paris Baghette!), Chelsea Market (reminds me of a place in Monterey...little shopping areas and eating areas...Cannery Row?)and LOTS of fun coffee shops, deli's, fro yo shops, sb.  I don't have as much time and $ as I did in Korea, so that's different, but sightseeing is free ^^

Times Square

NY public library

It feels like I've been here a month (is that a good thing or a bad thing?)--days are filled with one or two 3-4 hr. classes and working on project before and after class and eating in between that (usually with classmates, talking about projects ;)--so, days are long, but go by fast.

I'm getting to know some people in my program and they are really nice.  Most have worked in the industry and/or have their BA already, so I feel like we are in the same spot.  I don't feel SO old going back to school ;)

Unexpected things:  I've yet to see Spiderman, Fox Books, or Dolly Levi (I guess I haven't gone to Yonkers yet...)

Looking forward to:  Seeing my dear friend, HANNAH, going to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, cooler weather (I have no a/c), not being jet-lagged, eating frozen yoghurt, getting coffee and a muffin from one of those hotdog-looking stand, taking a walk in Central Park, eating good pizza, meeting more people on my floor, and studying Korean on a regular basis

That's all for now :D 

Summer Thoughts (published in Aug O_o)

Wow, it's been a long time (almost 3 months!)--well, I have good reason for that:  I didn't think there was anything going on in my life that was worth sharing to the masses (aka, the 7 members of my blog).

Time has gone by quickly, except when it didn't.  Honestly, not a whooole lot has happened.  The first semesters has come and gone.  It went significantly better than last semester.  Not as many unexpected classroom/school situation, little more structure to my lessons--just a bit more chill.  

I am in the thick of my one week summer classes.  My students are doing a great job.  Sometimes the material or assignment is difficult, but they are trying--I was thinking, if my high school French teacher ONLY spoke French and if I had a question, I'd have to ask in French AND THEN she'd answer IN FRENCH.  THAT WOULD BE SO HARD.
ALLS TO SAY, my students are amazing :)

I will be taking with me a lot of great memories.  My morning classes are reading Beauty and the Beast (the original story, but shortened, so...a little different(?))--my only reference is the Disney movie, so it's like a whole new story to me, yeah!  My afternoon classes just finished a day and a half of comprehension level check tests and are now writing short stories in small groups.  

I have 4 weeks and 3 days left (not like I'm counting or anything ;) before I leave Korea and start a new adventure in NY.  I am going to miss living here.  I hope to come back someday, but we'll see.  Though I still miss my family like crazy, it does not cause me intense anxiety or sorrow when I think about not being with them for another year (at least).  By the grace of God, I have a lot of peace.

I will be starting over, again: new city, new church, new friends, new job (oh, I need to find a job)...

Got in a fight yesterday--but, my uppercut is the Hope of Glory--so, game over.

 Two of my biggest insecurities are: 1. singing in front of people, and speaking Korean--veeeery scary^^  Well, yesterday I got to punch those two fears in the face.

My church was invited to go with some young adults from other churches on a day trip to Ganghwa Island.  There were 10 of us from my church that went on the trip. We were on the bus for about...4 hours (to) and 3 hours (from).  On the bus, the girls sat window side while the guys rotated seats about every 15 minutes.  And then we were divided into groups of four to get to know each other more.  This was a great because I think we would have just end up staying with our group of friends instead of getting to know others. Everyone that I talked to knew at least a little bit of English, but I am always telling people that we (foreigners) should be the one to speak their language, not vice versa--great, now I have to take my own advice, haha ;)  SO, I tried to speak a little Korean!  It was pretty funny, I think I said the same things over and over, and made heaps of mistakes, but it was fun and I think I got WAY MORE comfortable using the bit of Korean I know :D  --I actually started a blog that is purely Korean!
Ah, no--jk. That'll be the day ;)

On the way back home, we (each group) were supposed to pick a song and sing it to the others--"okay...we are in a group...it will be fine..."  Oh, and the foreigner in your group has to sing a solo --"WHAT?!?!"  Not only do I have to speak Korean, but I have to sing it, by myself, to a bus full of people, with a mic! I had two options: I could either reeeeaally insist on not doing it or...just go for it.  Well, I just went for it! It was jumbled and I forgot the tune :p and I'm sure my pronunciation was off--but it was actually pretty FUN! Idk what it is, but the idea of singing as a group and the solo seemed like a "no big deal," "this is  normal" activity  to everyone else...it was a pretty cool environment of "let's just have fun."  I really think it would have been looked at as odd if I didn't sing.  Korean culture, you are challenging me to be more chill and just do things without thinking so much about fear of failure :)

Fun, challenging, awkward, embarrassing, amazing day :D PTL.  Thankful for patience from others (it's not easy having a conversation with someone who looks 25, but speaks like a 2 year old ;), beautiful countryside walks, lovely company, teammates who told me I did a good job singing (haha, so gracious), fun treats (snack bag, reflection notebook, dinner). So blessed to be invited on this trip!

John 10:10

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁰ The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

Idk when this started, maybe when I decided to apply to FITny, but I don't fight the Lord as much when he tell me to trust him and that he loves me.  It has been easier to believe Him and when I believe Him in one area of my life...it's just...silly not to believe him for the others: school, job, finances, friendships, future--I think I took some major ground where fear would kinda dictate my actions and thoughts.  Not perfect, not brave in every situation BUT, wow, what peace I have that I have never had before--the Lord is a God a restoration and hope.  He is changing my heart and my mind^^

1 John 4:18

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁸ There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

Colossians 3:15

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁵ And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.

Thank you, Jesus!

8"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 

   neither are your ways my ways,” 
            declares the LORD. 
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth, 
   so are my ways higher than your ways 
   and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55: 8-9

He really knows what he's talking about. Not only is he always right in timing and providing our every need--he knows what makes our hearts get excited.

Since I was 3 years old I had a natural talent for sketching.  By the time I was 5 I was winning sketch prizes from around the world--okay that was all a lie^^

I would try my hand at drawing when I was younger and my drawings would come out...well...let's just say, what I saw in my head and what ended up on my paper were not the same.  It was not until my freshman year of college that I really learned how to draw.  One of the most memorable classes I had was a drawing class at PLU. My professor told the class "I believe anyone can learn how to draw." I got SO excited, "even me?!" I thought.  From there I started working on my drawing skills (it's like a sport: practice and you get better). Does the image in my head match what ends up on paper? Not always, but more than before. :)

I've always enjoyed creating and designing things--whether it be cooking, dancing, floral design, sewing, drawing, kids art projects, interior design, jewelry, hair accessories. To start with a bunch of random material and create whatever I want--it's just so fun.

A few years back I decided I wanted to design wedding dresses. What better place to do this than New York, right? I applied to the Fashion Institute of Technology NYC and...my application was rejected. I thought this was God's way of telling me "well...you have no real talent for what you love and I think you need to pick another dream...maybe a nice, quiet office job." (to someone who enjoys working with their hands to create, this was a sad thought).  

I felt embarrassed of my "hobbies" since that was all they could ever be, I was a little upset at God, but knew he must be right--he is God, after all. 

These things that brought so much joy and hope were put on the back burner. It was like I was kidding myself for even thinking I was any good at this stuff. Like...me wanting/liking this was a joke.

A few years went by and I began to see the truth that FITnyc rejecting my application did not mean God was rejecting my dreams or that pursuing these things was frivolous.  It was a "wait--what?...you mean...I don't have to be embarrassed or ashamed about my love for design/creating things? And, actually God created me ON PURPOSE to pursue these things?!?! YES!" Since then I have been doing a little bit of floral design for friends' weddings, hair accessories, sewing, sketching, cooking--it has been great!

I had a bunch of loose college credits and thought I should make them mean SOMETHING. So, I finished my bachelors at UWT. After moving to Korea, maybe around November, I realized that formal teaching may not be a lifelong job for me.  So I began chatting with the Lord about what I should do and what do I want to do and what gets my heart excited and when does time fly by for me?  answer: when I am creating/designing (among other dreams I have: to be a wife, mother, friend to the friendless, servant to the broken, to take care of the poor and afflicted, to be a mother to orphans, to heal with the love and power of Jesus Christ, maybe, write children's books...and then some). 

I found this program at FITny: http://fitnyc.edu/2813.asp  I didn't know this was a full-time job or even that there was such a program.  Textile and surface design has SO many possibilities AND it just sounds really fun!  But...in order to be in the program, I have to apply...again. One word: humbling. 

Long story short (I know, it's already long, sooorry), I decided in...Decemberish I was going to apply, and, by the grace of God, I prepared and submitted my application and portfolio by February 1st. I was accepted a few weeks ago and in a few months, I am moving to New York to study textile/surface design!!!

This whole experience is teaching me that God's timing is perfect, he understands our hearts better than we ever will, he wants to finish the work he started in us (Philippians 1:6), he loves to bless his kids; I believe, being faithful to how the Lord created us brings glory to God. But, if I am waiting for certain hopes and dreams to come, I can stand on the truth that he is worthy to be trusted--throwing a fit when I am sick and tired of waiting is just a waste of time, I can choose to have the joy of the Lord in all circumstance--if I choose ;) process is just as valuable and rich as an "arrival" points (whatever "arrival" points really are...manmade markers of achievement, perhaps? Not cool). He never withholds from his kids.  

Life can be overwhelming, death can be confusing, injustice can be appalling.  I don't know the "whys" of everything, but what I do know is that God is good. He gave us a free will that we would have the choice to love him or not--and the "or not" has risk of us seriously hurting others. But if we choose him, what a full life we have--in any and all walks of life. Not that it will always be easy, but that we will always have a God who will carry us through with the most powerful love in the world (Romans 8:38-39). And that we get to love Him in return--what an honor.  

That's my excited, crazy, are-you-kidding-me,-Lord?! news :)

surprised, and a bit irritated, by grace

In coming back to Korea, I thought it would be kinda like the first time I came:
confusing (b/c I missed my family, but chose to move to Korea)
scary (b/c the future had so many unfamiliar and unknown things)
LOTS of crying

As my bus arrived in my city, it was (still is) confusing, a tiny bit scary, and the next few days had it's share of crying, but I realized something: It didn't feel like I was coming back to Korea (the land of wonder, mystery, excitement, and unknown), but coming back to, dare I say, "home." My second home, my home away from home. I saw the familiar bus terminal, coffee shops, family marts...I knew the routine of getting off the bus, going to the double doors on the right, coming out front, and getting a taxi to the far right of the terminal. Just the normal routine of getting home from the bus terminal--then it hit me--living in Korea had "normals" in it for me. There are a handful of things (taking the bus, taxi, grocery shopping, getting around town, walking to school, meeting up with friends...) that were very normal...this was comforting and not comforting, at the same time. "Wait," I thought. "how am I supposed to be miserable b/c I am away from my family if I am peacefully planning out my grocery shopping list, coffee dates with friends, and laundry/cleaning."
It's like I was irritated that the Lord has given me the grace to live life in Korea. Isn't that odd? I think my reasoning was: if you love, care, and miss someone, you will be miserable most of the time when you are apart. Like...your ache to be at home will paralyze your joy, peace, and overall desire to fully LIVE. Can I miss home and still thrive in Korea? Am I thriving now? Am I holding myself back from thriving because I've made up my mind that it doesn't make sense to live to the fullest when my heart hurts? Am I overusing the word "thriving"? ;)


I am still processing this (I've only been back for 11 days), but I am praying the Lord will give me more revelation of His peace and GRACE. I believe I can thrive here and the fact that I love and miss home, don't know Korean fluently and can't really remember street names cannot and WILL NOT make or break the fact that I am called to live life to the fullest. No matter where I am, not matter what I am going through--bad AND good, God is good and I get be loved by Him and love Him back. He is everything and I can do nothing without Him and EVERYTHING with Him^^ Siiiigh, but I still miss my family...but that's okay--it would be weird not to--THEY ARE AWESOME.  I'd post a picture of my family, but current family photos (and I mean all 15 of us together) are VERY valuable and rare--only to be introduced in Christmas cards form, not in blogs.

John 10:9-10

New International Version (NIV)

⁹ I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. ¹⁰ The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Zephaniah 3:17

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁷ The Lord your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.”